Dear Doctor BS,
My friends say I'm indecisive. One friend in particular says it really annoys him. I don't feel like I'm indecisive, I just want to be sure I have all the information so I can make the best choice. I like to weigh the pros and cons before I make a decision. My friend says he doesn't want to go to lunch with me any more because it takes me too long to pick a restaurant, and then our lunch break is over. I tell him that he should pick then, but he doesn't like that answer either. What can I do to let my friends know that I'm not being indecisive, I just don't want to make a bad choice?
CV
Dear CV,
Your friends are right. You are indecisive. It's because you're afraid of not being perfect. Time to let go of that one, honey, because nobody is perfect except Doctor BS.
Here's a method for better decision making:
1. Is it a big choice or a little choice? Big choices include who to marry, whether to have children, and whether to get behind the wheel after a night of tequila shooters. Big choices have a big effect on the rest of your life. Feel free to weigh the pros and cons.
2. If it's a little choice, for example where to go for lunch, pick two of the more appealing options and flip a coin. It's that simple. Keep the little choices fast and painless by always carrying a good flipping coin. If you're superstitious, get a nice fancy flipping coin and tell yourself it's lucky. Trust me, for the little choices in life, it's not going to steer you wrong.
Doctor BS
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Saturday, December 1, 2007
I need a new hobby
Dear Doctor BS,
I need a new hobby. I've been a stamp collector ever since I was a child, but a month ago my house burned down in the wildfires, and my stamp collection was destroyed. I spent years of my life and a whole lot of money on that collection, and now it's all gone. I can't see myself ever amassing a collection to match the one that was lost, and I don't have the heart to try. I need to do something in my spare time, preferably something cheap. But what could compete with the excitement of philately?
BN
Dear BN,
Have you considered a normal hobby? Like tennis, or drinking, or sex? And being such a giant nerd, have you tried sex at all? I think you'd find that the excitement of sex is at least as good as the excitement of finding a tiny piece of paper with some printing on it.
Your new hobby should be trying to get laid. Start by putting ads on craigslist. If you're good-looking, include your picture. If not, consider trying to make yourself better looking. And for goodness sake join a gym and start working out. You'll need the stamina once your new hobby gets off the ground.
Doctor BS
I need a new hobby. I've been a stamp collector ever since I was a child, but a month ago my house burned down in the wildfires, and my stamp collection was destroyed. I spent years of my life and a whole lot of money on that collection, and now it's all gone. I can't see myself ever amassing a collection to match the one that was lost, and I don't have the heart to try. I need to do something in my spare time, preferably something cheap. But what could compete with the excitement of philately?
BN
Dear BN,
Have you considered a normal hobby? Like tennis, or drinking, or sex? And being such a giant nerd, have you tried sex at all? I think you'd find that the excitement of sex is at least as good as the excitement of finding a tiny piece of paper with some printing on it.
Your new hobby should be trying to get laid. Start by putting ads on craigslist. If you're good-looking, include your picture. If not, consider trying to make yourself better looking. And for goodness sake join a gym and start working out. You'll need the stamina once your new hobby gets off the ground.
Doctor BS
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