How do I tell my friends their screenplay sucked?

Dear Doctor BS,

I recently moved to LA, and it seems like it really is true what they say. Everyone out here is writing a screenplay. A couple of friends recently gave me their latest work and asked for feedback. I put it off for a while, but finally read it over the weekend. And it was bad. Not just a little bad, but really really bad. It sucked. The only parts that worked at all were obviously almost directly copied from their favorite movies. How do I tell them what I think, when I know they're not going to like it?

GL

Dear GL,

Tell them what you think? Wow, you are new to Hollywood. There is a reason that nobody ever says no in Hollywood. There is a reason everyone is so nice but shallow, so shallowly nice.

It's because everybody is totally naked all the time. Not physically, but emotionally. It's a bunch of sensitive creative types all gathered together trying their best to birth a work of great genius, and all of them have their babies up on the auction block all the time. LA is a town that understands the old saying about people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

So what do you do? You lie. You lie through your teeth. You lie like a rug. You tell them what you love about their script (I know you can find something, you're creative too, aren't you?) and gloss over any flaws. Mention a couple of the tiniest and most fixable flaws you can find (typos and the like can be good for this) and then go back to gushing about how much you loved it. Use words like characterization and theme and leitmotif. Talk about how much you appreciate the essense of the project. If the script is as bad as you say, it'll fail on its own without your help. Meanwhile, preserve your friendships and lie.

Doctor BS