Is punk rock dead?

Dear Doctor BS,

I want to be a punk rocker, but my mom says punk rock is dead. What can I do?

NV

Dear NV,

First off, if you're asking Mommy about punk then you are not punk. I don't care if Mommy is the original punk rock girl, she's your MOM!

Second, she has a point. The great American commercialization consumption machine swallowed the last dregs of punk a decade ago and has been shitting out corporate, sanitized pop punk bands ever since. (Sanitized shit? Now there's a metaphor.)

If all that doesn't matter to you, and you'd rather swim in the toilet of fake punk than grow up to be a good little cog and earn a real living, then who knows, you could be the next incarnation of real punk.

If so, here's what you do: 1. Eat only things that are not on the official food pyramid. 2. Decide whether you're SXE or drug-induced. If drug-induced, pick your drug now and devote yourself to it. 3. Find some like minded punks and go make some noise.

Otherwise in another year or two we're talking punk elevator muzak.

Doctor BS